MY WORLD OF TRUTH

 Invest some time in figuring out your real story and you'll be happier, less stressed and in the right job. By Richard Hytner
What’s your story? Your real story, I mean. Not some carefully curated version of yourself designed to impress friends on Facebook or to look more employable on LinkedIn, useful shortcuts though these social media provide to people wanting to get to know you. 


The most authentic and enduring brands are built from the inside out. The least convincing, destined for a short shelf life, are those that believe they can communicate their way to greatness. That’s not branding, it’s spin, and people see that for what it is – manipulative, too good to be true, an overpromise that the brand can only ever fail to deliver.

Seeing yourself as a personal brand, and your life story as some form of brand com
munication is equally perilous, likely to prove incredible at best, narcissistic at worst, nowhere close to your authentic self and not remotely useful in guiding your passionate life choices.


Don't fake it to make it

So forget personal branding, cosmetically enhanced CVs and profile page makeovers. Embrace instead personal purpose to identify and capture who you really are, what you stand for, your long-term aspirations and your nearer-term ambitions. Then live this purpose every day to inspire people's deeper understanding of your authentic self.


Finding your personal purpose has unexpected benefits: it helps you manage your energy, stay positive, and remain focused, stopping you from doing all that’s not core to who you really are and helping you to say no to activity which is joyless, unproductive and ‘off’ purpose.


The more decisions you can take that are guided by your personal purpose, the less stressed you will feel – simply because you’re not faking it. As LBS Professor Rob Goffee puts it: ‘Be yourself more. With skill.’ Here are five tips to get you started:


Tip 1: Mirror, mirror

Immerse yourself in rigorous self-reflection. Think about when you are at your best. And worst. Why is that? What insights do your answers reveal? Capture how you – and those who know you intimately – describe the authentic ‘you’. Eliminate the gap between who you really are and who you project yourself to be. Imagine if Tim Cook had projected himself as Apple’s rock star CEO when he succeeded Steve Jobs. How long might it have taken the world to feel his discomfort?


Tip 2: Would you choose this?

Review your existing commitments. Using the lens of your newly created personal purpose, how many of them would you choose afresh? Use Kim & Mauborgne’s framework to develop a blue ocean strategy for your life. What commitments would you raise, how many would you reduce? What must you eliminate to stand any chance of being you more often? What new commitments should you create to transform to the purpose you have defined for yourself?


Tip 3: Test your best

Just as great stories have many narrative arcs, so personal purpose should be a platform for experimentation. Instead of thinking there’s just one best self to be expressed consistently in every encounter, embrace different versions of yourself and test them. Tell your story in different ways, too, depending on your audience and context, whilst maintaining a strong connection to your purpose. Whether I'm in a classroom at LBS or consulting with a leadership team, I always ask myself, ‘Am I helping these people land their best ideas? That is what keeps me ‘on purpose’ – even when I find myself off-piste.


Tip 4: Focus on the 'why'

Let other people participate in your purpose. Invite people to play back the ‘you’ they encounter, the feeling they get from collaborating with you. Ask people you trust, ‘does this purpose I have captured feel authentic to you or am I kidding myself? ‘Most of us know that we’re probably not our own best storytellers. That’s where your partners and friends are so important, because they are the people who will hold a mirror up to you, who know what you really believe, who you really are.


The fundamental thing people find interesting about you is not what you actually do in your job, day in, day out. Nor your job title or your role, but your aspirations. The question that should occupy the majority of your reflection is the existential one – Why? In the world you would like to see happen, in your wildest dreams, what tiny part would you like to play in that? And why? That’s so much more interesting than which organisation’s T-shirt you’re wearing.

Ladder up the effect of what you do by asking yourself why you get up in the morning. Suppose you’re an auditor. Why might you get up today to do yet another audit? To provide some trust in a world that badly needs it, perhaps.


Tip 5: It's not all about you

Be more interested in other people’s personal purpose than in your own. You will find their dreams and values endlessly fascinating, you’ll learn a lot more about them and you’ll see how to help each other – which is of more value to colleagues and friends than if you’re just broadcasting about yourself.


Within organisations, you can give people more of the work they love to do and avoid giving them work that saps their energy only if you know – and play to – the person and their purpose. And a lot of that depends on how much of yourself you’re prepared to reveal to the people around you. If you trust colleagues with your purpose, you will engage more support for what makes you happy.

One of the things to be very clear about is, ‘which places are most likely to support and help me be myself more, with skill?’ It’s important to know what your capacity is for any sort of deviation from the core of your Purpose. Of course you don’t want to be so much a reflection of the place where you work that you feel like you belong to a cult. But there has to be a strong connection between what your company wants to do and be, and what you want to do and be.


If you can’t see any connection at all, you’re in the wrong place. Don’t expect your company to find that connection. There are many things you can – and should – delegate responsibility for in life. Your personal purpose is not one of them.

The condition of our skin and how it ages are influenced by a number of factors, with diet and lifestyle playing a major part.
Prolonged exposure to the sun, smoking and a diet rich in processed and sugary foods, as well as dehydrators like caffeine and alcohol will, over time, take their toll.

As we age our skin gets thinner, less elastic and more prone to fine lines and wrinkles but by including the right foods in your diet you really can nourish from within. A healthy, balanced diet featuring skin-friendly food and plenty of hydrating fluids will go some way to improve elasticity, boost your skin’s appearance and help protect from UV damage. Here are our top tips for achieving that radiant glow:

- ProteinEggs
Include your fish, lean meats and eggs. Protein foods like these supply the amino acids (building blocks) you need to make collagen, which keeps  skin strong.








- Fats
Oily fish like salmon, mackerel, sardines and trout contain beneficial fats, which promote skin hydration, resulting in plumper looking skin. Healthy oils make the ultimate internal moisturiser as they help keep cell walls supple. Aim for 1-2 portions of oily fish per week. If your budget permits, buy wild rather than farmed fish for its superior fat composition

- Nuts
Packed with healthy fats, nuts like walnuts, hazelnuts and almonds, as well as seeds like chia and flaxseed help keep us well-oiled.

They’re great sources of vitamin E, an active sun blocker, which protects skin cells from UV damage, while also keeping it soft and supple.

Nuts and seeds are packed with minerals including zinc, which helps heal blemishes and reduces inflammation and redness –  especially useful for those with rosacea or acne.

- Low-GI
Eating low-GI (Glycaemic Index) foods helps us avoid the spikes in hormones that can contribute to skin damage and wrinkles. Choose wholegrain over white versions of bread, rice and pasta and snack on oatcakes, nuts and seeds. Wholegrains, like oats and millet, are excellent sources of the trace mineral silica, which is essential for healthy skin, hair and nails.

Eat a rainbowFruit
Studies have found that carotenoids, the antioxidants in brightly coloured fruit and veg, can reduce our skin’s sensitivity to the sun. Lycopene, found in red fruit and veg, acts as your skin’s internal SPF, while orange choices, like sweet potatoes and carrots, provide beta-carotene, which we convert to skin-vital vitamin A.

Vitamin C is vital for collagen production, and is found in abundance in peppers, kiwis and strawberries, plus be sure to include dark green leaves that deliver antioxidants that protect collagen from damage. When choosing fruit and veg, opt for lower-sugar varieties and minimise the more exotic, high sugar fruits like bananas, grapes and mango as well as dried fruits.










What to avoid...
 Sugar
Refined carbs (that’s white versions of cakes, biscuits, bread and pasta, as well as fizzy drinks) have an ageing effect on the skin.
Too much sugar in the diet damages skin cells and affects collagen production. Instead, use natural sweeteners like whole, natural fruits as well as spices like cinnamon or vanilla. If you regularly use high fructose sweetners like agave, honey and maple syrup, try to cut back - your skin will thank you for it.

- Bad fats
Especially bad are trans fats, found in pastries, cakes and processed ready meals. Also try and minimise saturated fat from red meat and dairy. These fats compete with the healthy omega-3 variety and slow down your circulation, reducing blood flow to the skin.

- AlcoholBeer
Booze is an age accelerator that causes the secretion of the stress hormone, cortisol, plus alcoholic drinks often contain lots of sugar.
If cutting out alcohol seems a step too far - cut back. If you do take the plunge and eliminate your favourite tipple you’ll notice the difference in as little as a week!