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Friday, 15 May 2015
Bully's Powerful Apology to Student He Tormented — 20 Years Later
Bully's Powerful Apology to Student He Tormented — 20 Years Later...
ChadMichael Morrisette got an apology recently from one of his junior high bullies. (Photo: ChadMichael Morrisette)
A
man who was bullied in junior high received an unexpected apology – 20
years after the fact – when one of his tormentors recently reached out
via Facebook to make amends.
ChadMichael
Morrisette, a 34-year-old brand consultant and visual designer in West
Hollywood, grew up in small-town Alaska. “The entire football team
bullied me,” he tells Yahoo Parenting. “It wasn’t one guy, it was six or
seven guys who would follow me in the hallways, harassing me, insulting
me, threatening my life.”
Morrisette
left home when he was 15, and says life got better quickly after that,
and he hasn’t reflected much on his bullied childhood since. That is,
not until May 5, when he woke up to a surprise message on Facebook.
The
note was from Louie Amundson, whom Morrisette says he doesn’t
specifically remember. “But that’s because there were so many bullies it
was hard to name them all,” he says. Morrisette says it took a couple
of days for him to process the true meaning of the message. “It unlocked
something in me I didn’t realize I’d been holding onto. I cried a
little bit. It was so moving.”
A few days later, Morrisette wrote back:
He heard back from Amundson immediately.
Amundson
tells Yahoo Parenting he never expected anyone else to see his message
to Morrisette, but felt it was his duty to apologize. “You can’t change
your past, but you do still own it,” he says. “I can’t take back the
names I called him, and the threats I made toward him, but I can
apologize. It doesn’t excuse my behavior as a child in any way, but as
an adult it’s the best I can do to try to make it up to him.
The
apology was inspired by a conversation with his daughter, who is on
student council, Amundson says. “They were working on a skit about
bullying, so she was asking several different questions about why kids
bully, what to do if you’re bullied — then she asked if I was ever
bullied, and I said yes,” he says. “She then asked if I had ever bullied
anyone else, and I had to think about it for a minute and that’s the
first time I had thought about it in 20-plus years, so I answered
honestly and said yes.”
Morrisette
says he was especially touched that the apology was inspired by
Amundson’s conversation with his daughter. “There was something magical
happening between dad and daughter, that she brought the apology out,”
he said. “And that he was honest with her that, yes, he bullied – good
for him. I’m quite proud of him.”
Amundson
says that receiving Morrisette’s forgiveness was quite emotional for
him. “[I felt] humbled and ashamed and relieved all at once,” he says.
“I owed him that apology, he did not owe me his forgiveness. The fact
that he was able to forgive me showed that I may have been the bigger
kid, but he is the bigger man. I really didn’t expect him to respond at
all, and figured if he did it would be telling me where to stick the
apology, kind of like ‘too little too late.’”
Morrisette
says he hopes his exchange with his former tormentor will inspire both
bullies and those who have been bullied. “For the ones that are bullied
and are young, it does get better,” he says. “It’s hard to see that now.
And it doesn’t get better in a year or two, necessarily, but 20 years
later you’ll look back and realize, it is better.”
And
for those who’ve been guilty of picking on others: “You can ask for
forgiveness,” he says. “It takes courage to ask for forgiveness, and
even if you don’t get it, the fact that you asked redeems you. I
encourage more people to ask for forgiveness. Own up to what you did. A
simple ‘I’m sorry’ can change everything.”
If nothing else, Morrisette says, remember one thing: “It’s never too late.”
posted by Davidblogger50 at 14:34
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